Monday, June 22, 2009

Not bad for a new girl

heheh.. I was thinking about a dance with a stranger that I had recently. He was a proper stranger, not someone I had not danced with before, someone I had never even met before. He asked me to dance without even knowing my name, or me his, but I did not mind, that's living on the edge people.. wooo! So it took a little bit for me to feel his mojo, we had different ideas about where 1 was in the music, and I had to turn all my senses onto over drive to feel for his leading, they were moves I did not know, from a guy I had only just met, let me tell you, it was hard!! I felt like we got it together pretty quickly, and I thought we had a great time until... Until the song finished and I asked for another dance and was denied. That's ok, not everyone wants a second dance, but this guy gave me one of the worst reasons ever he said, "No thank you, I don't usually dance with beginners".

I was stunned, did he think I was such a bad dancer that he would not dance with me again, and did he think he was such a good dancer he could exclude all those that were "below him"? I could do nothing but blush and thank him for the dance we had. As I began to walk away, he changed his mind, and said "ok, one more, you did pretty well for a new girl". Was I supposed to feel flattered or worse? My heart was not in the next dance, it was more of a spite three and a half mins than anything else, I pulled out all my stops and tried to be as fancy pants as possible, I even got a "nice variation" out of the guy, I think i sparked his interest because at the end of our second dance he said to me, "oh that one was better by the way, how long have you been swing dancing for?".

I wanted to say, oh a while - been teaching for a few years now, how bout you loooooosseerr?? But I refrained.. I said, "a little while, but keen to keep learning!" to which I got a "cool, keep at it, you will get there!!".

OH boy, I cant begin to spell out how wrong that whole situation was. Its not that I'm a teacher and he should have known and should have so blown a whole heap of wind up my skirt.

Its just wrong to deny dances to people you think are lesser dancers than you. Its wrong have two whole dances with someone and not even ask their name. Its wrong to comment on someones dancing if you have not checked if you can give feedback, or if they have not asked, and if you do give feedback, perhaps something a little nicer than "you did well for a new girl" could be said.

For all I know this guy thought I was a bad dancer (hell I may be a bad dancer) but if you have nothing nice to say, perhaps say nothing at all. At a guess, I would say he was a level 1 dancer, I very subtly asked around and no one seemed to know who he was. I guess at level 1 cos there were one or two tries at swing outs, but mostly six count. I guess level one cos there was still all that enthusiasm of a newish student, but potentially not so much of the refinement? At any rate, it does not matter, no matter how high up the food chain you are, no one you dance with deserves to walk away feeling bad about wasting your time.

I should mention just in case its not obvious, this did not happen in Hobart, this was not a Tasswing Student - but there will be big smacks if ever I hear a Tasswing student talk to another dancer the way this guy spoke to me!

Anyway, Im actually looking forward to seeing that guy again, and maybe having another dance with him, because I am keeping with it, and i will get there one day!!

PSSST, SHHHHT, SHHHHT KSSSSS, ahhhh

These are the mystery noises behind a male friend of mines bathroom door when he is getting ready. I often wonder what he does in there for the hour before he goes out, and the other weekend seemed to be the perfect time to break down all social barriers, plonk myself down on the toilet lid and observe the male of the species in his pre-pick up ritual.

It all starts with a shower (ok i was not in the room for that part.. but from what I can gather the whole thing was pretty standard, there was some hair washing, and to my surprise the use of conditioner after (even though it is prone to making his hair.. fluffy), and the cleansing power of soap was also an essential marker for this bathing experience, this guy in particular is not at all ashamed to admit - he uses dove, he finds the 1/4 moisturiser helpful in maintaining a softness in his skin (ladies, he is single!!).

Once showered and a towel slung low around his swimmers V, I was allowed in to see what all the fuss is about.

Apparently there is quite an art to shaving the face, it involves a sink full of warm water, some of the more expensive brand of shaving gel, that is applied to a damp face (apparently this also feels nicer than the foam, and negates the need for oil.. there is oil??). The razor was new, and silver - you have me there, I was distracted by the silver and did not check for the brand.

Anyway so the shaving was happening, and i was memorized, the shave was close, and i think i was secretly attracted to the danger!! Once that was done, the cleansing began. Apparently some guys think that shaving gel is the same as a cleanser, its not. You gotta use a cleanser to make sure there is no shaving gel left in your skin, follow that up with either a splash of cold water, or some toner if you re into that kind of thing and then most importantly gently pat the face with a non girly scented moisturiser!

Once the face is primed, after shave can be applied although these days, it seems there is a lean away from after shave toward manpume. This gets sprayed on now - onto the body, warms up the scent and "stains the skin".

It gets trickier, next is the deodorant V antiperspirant convo. Deodorant sometimes just makes you smell nice either by covering the smell with a new one, or by not allowing the smelly bacteria to grow, antiperspirant sometimes has no smell just sorta stops you from getting stinky by either making you sweat less or again making the bacteria not grow. What you want to do is with any luck find a product that does both, but if had to choose i would choose stink free and damp, rather than damp and stinky. Anyway, read your own labels!!

Spray, roll, squirt, rub on your deodorant/antiperspirant and leave under your arms to dry whilst you groom your hair.. this way you re not putting a shirt onto damp under arms and you wont accidentally get hair product on your collar...

Singlet goes on, shirt goes on, pants go on over top of underpants (I'm gonna suggest those butt hugging ones that are like boylegs or something? they are shorts but underpants all at the same time..) and you can accessorise how you want.. but be warned.. if this guy were a dancer, in his bag he would pack:
A change of singlet (or two, or three)
A change of shirt (or two, or three)
Potentially a change of pants.. you never know!
A change of socks
Talk powder (sometimes the feet need it..)
More deodorant
The manpume
Comb for the hair
Refresher towel (you can get these at coles, woolies etc, they are like wet ones for kids, but grown ups use them under the arms, back of the neck, it cleanses and then leaves the skin smooth and dry)
Face washer or towel, for a general mop up
Mints
Water

Its tough being a guy, with all the mid dance maintenance that needs to happen, its not enough that you leave the house looking good and smelling amazing, you have to dance your behind off and still look great and smell amazing!

Anyway.. this man friend of mine is not a swing dancer, but he does hit the clubs pretty hard, and now that passive smoking cant be blamed for that rank smell you walk home with, its more important than ever that the good times roll all night.

I did meet up with my man friend, mid morning the following day (one of us, not me, had done the walk of shame from someones "couch" to the cafe) and as i gave him a high five and a hug hello, his breath was minty fresh from his mentos, his skin was still smooth from last nights close shave, he did smell a little musky, I think its that smell that all boys get, but his collar still smelt of manpume, and BO was not to be smelt anywhere.. After the $100.00 of booze and 6 hrs to dance it all off with, this guy was still doing ok. I guess like any piece of art, it all starts in the preparation.

Friday, June 19, 2009

All boobies are women - treat them like ladies!

DCS is drawing ever closer, and my bet is most of you have got your costumes well underway, for both the "Suit Up" themed ball and the lesser known "impress the pants off of everyone in my fantastic new outfit that I've been saving for just this occasion" Friday night welcome even. for those of you who have been around for my phases such as, "can you see my nippies in this?", "how short is too short?", "can i wear plunging necklines with high slits?" and lets not forget, "I cant breathe, sit down, talk or dance but damn my ass looks great in this outfit", come with me for a little outfit choosing journey.

Of late my favourite phrase is - if you cant jog in it - don't wear it dancing! And no matter how hot you are in that ankle length pink high wasted, puffy sleeved, backless, attention grabbing, bust squeezing, thigh defining disco number - this phrase will ring true EVERY TIME.

You know me, don't like to have too many rules.. but let me lay down some law for the ladies..
1 - Wear a bra! I'm not joking.. from A cup to G cup our girls should be treated like ladies and a bra is essential, if not only for your comfort, then at least for the comfort of the poor clasp searching lead you are dancing with.

2- dress straps are mandatory, sleeves are better, "boob toob, pray to god the stay there with all the Hollywood tape you could by at sports girl" is not going to cut it for long! Once again, your boobs are ladies, keep em under wraps!

3- high heels make a grand entrance, right into the thigh of some innocent behind a Charleston frenzy. By all means wear them out, wear them to the venue, but once there, slip into something a little more comfy.. I my self cant go past my 10.00 pair of keds rip offs!

4 - Hair ties are golden, if you are blessed with long flowing locks of beauty, I'm not suggesting you hide them away, I'm just saying, ever been whipped in the face with a riding crop? its what your hair feels like flashing past my face flesh.. if you need some "updo" inspiration let me know, Ive been doing hair and make up for swing events for ever!!

5 - BIG PANTIES!! sure you get a panty line, sure everyone knows you got your granny panties on, let me tell you though, you will not regret the choice when you are in the air, legs akimbo, shrrreeekinnnggg "oh my god my skirt is around my ears". It happens!

If you have your outfit ready at home or if you have your eye on a little somethin something, here is the fail safe outfit test.

Home outfit test:
1 put your whole outfit on, earrings, shoes, panties etc, take a good long look at yourself in the mirror.. you are beautiful.

2 plug in the vacuum cleaner and go to town on your house, make sure you get into all the nooks and crannies, get down low... LOW.. under the couch.. get up high..HIGH.. get those cob webs you have been eyeing off whilst slumping on the bed.

3 by now you should be hot, puffed, stretched and with any luck.. big panties = no wedgie.. now stand on your bed and jump.. Jump i say.. little fast jumps.. bouncy high jumps (I have no insurance for broken legs or beds - I accept no responsibility!!).. how our your ladies?? in place?? good!

If your outfit makes it through that test.. you are onto a winner. If you are yet to purchase then you need to:

1 Put the outfit on. If you are lucky enough to be in a change room with five thousand mirrors and fluorescent lighting - yay for you! Now with all the might you have dance like you are in flash dance.. tight little jogging on the spot - hands up high, knees up high, chin up high.. WHAT A FEELING...just imagine the beginners warm up in a confined space - dance like a pirate, I dare you!

2 Crouch down low, lower, lower.. any plumbers crack? whilst crouching down - place your hands in the air, if nothing breaks and you still look hot - by it, actually buy two.. no regrets!

I'm sure I don't need to tell anyone that perfume is beautiful, a subtle layer that sits above your anti perspirant your shiny clean teeth are a real asset, and your neatly groomed nails really show of you delicate hands. Go get em ladies, and gents, stay tuned for your tips to follow shortly!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Dr Strange Dance or How I Learnt to Relax and Love the Bomb

Its not often i get the absolute pleasure of attending someone else's class. These days it is getting slightly easier with the addition of the blues nights that Kara and Bryce are teaching, but usually I have to travel interstate, or wait for someone to visit Tassie... and it usually feels like forever between either of those options.

Its hard to explain why I like attending other peoples classes so much, because I'm often outwardly fearful of being exposed as a fraud, of everyone finding out I cant really dance, of everyone finding out it takes me a really long time to learn, of everyone finding out that I teach this kind of thing "back home" and I still sometimes don't have it quite right. They are all silly fears, but they are mine and I carry them with me every where I go.

About 6 months ago, I realized, how I am both my own worst enemy, and the largest walking contradiction I know. I shall explain.

My pet peeve, the one thing that really lights my wick (and not in the good way), is when I'm trying to teach a class, and the people attending my class, try to teach it for me, by either giving little classes off to the side, or by not changing partners so that they can further explain the intricate details of beginners Charleston to some new innocent or even just correcting time after time the minor quirks of someone else's dancing.. IT KILLS ME.

It annoys me for two reasons, one, we all know I am the center of attention (I choose to share the limelight with Duncan from time to time), but also, if there is a valid concern about someones foot work, lead, follow etc, how helpful would it be for the WHOLE class to hear about it, rather than individuals have it pointed out to them by a peer on their way round? I guess the other thing is, a lot dancing is individual style and technique, its actually pretty hard to teach a straight down the line basic of any kind, because the more you dance the more flavor you get to add in, and if you are in a class and you are commenting on another students performance, you have to be pretty sure of what you are asking them to do, and what tools you are giving them to work with.

There are so many sneaky tricks that we all use to share info in a class, so very very often a more experienced dancer will ask the most basic of questions "I'm just not sure if my back hand should be high or low in my six count basic, can you please remind me?". I know full well that this student knows where to place his hand, but he might have just overheard a comment that I cant hear, or he may see a lead a few down that is not quite right, and then the teachers get to address the whole class and answer this "great question" without anyone feeling embarrassed or picked on.

I want all the dancers in all the levels to just have a think about how much comment they make when they make a cameo appearance in a lower level, or indeed the more experienced dancers that are now choosing to be Faux Bro's or for whatever reason keep returning to beginners and level one classes. I would love to hear more "great questions" and less personal instruction, because every question thrown open to the class is like a shower of gold, it helps everyone move forward, and shows the new people that questions are ok!

Kara is a great one for reminding us all that feedback should be given carefully, we should ask if people want our feedback and we should give our feedback sparingly (one comment at a time.. per night!), but unfortunately, or fortunately, beginners students are like sponges, they just want to soak up everything all at once (why wouldn't they? this dance is amazing!!). Remember, that the beginner you are dancing with is probably in the same boat as the other 30 students in the room, and if you ask them if they want feedback, you will probably spend the rest of the night repeating yourself.

So the more I thought about it, the more I realised, when I am a student, that is all I am. I'm not a teacher any more, I'm just some kid off the street looking for some dancy action. I don't have to know what I'm talking about, I don't have to make comment when I do know what I'm talking about. The better I can listen to my teachers and my lead, the better student and therefore dancer I will be.

Its this epiphany that has made me shed my fears of not being a very good student, of being found out by everyone, because next class I attend, be it an advanced class or an into to swing, I am just a regular student, with perhaps a few "great questions" up my sleeve for the class.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Blues Before Sunrise


I have heaps to talk about - too much for on my lunch break - but check out Sally Pattersons face book for some photos of some super cute chicks.. and a big thanks to Anna deVries for capturing this moment for me!!


Thursday, June 4, 2009

faster, faster, slow and strange

Ever been in a situation where you ask a girl to dance, and she says, "nahh this song is too fast". So five mins later you ask her to dance again and she says, "nahh this song is too slow", then finally you get a great song and she agrees to dance and at the end of the dance she asks you for another and you say, "nahh I need a drink", but secretly, you're too embarrassed to have another dance, because you used up all your moves already.. ?

Well level one for the month of June is where you need to be!

This month we will be exploring how to dance SLOW using the six count structure, we will learn how to dance FAST using the six count structure, we will then go FASTER still using six count, and then bam, bust out some freaky foot work to spice up all of the above (yes still in the six count structure).

This is not a block, you can rock when you want to - the only catch is, like a game of dice, we decide on the night which of the above styles we are going to teach.. !!! We are Evil!! (this means.. you need to remember the golden rule - if you would not jog in it - dont wear it to class)

So if Duncan and I are the dark side, Kara and Barry must be the light. They are teaching "fun" this month. A little bit of this, a sprinkling of that, dusted down with hundreds and thousands and I believe you get the fairy bread of swing! Those crazy cats are cooking up a swing storm, mixing all the ingredients that you have together (swing outs, six count, Charleston) and covering them with delicious technique, getting them to ooze with gooey styling, but most of all injecting them all with FUN. This is a block - but its not too late to join!!