I don't blame some guys for not being gentlemen, I do not blame them at ALL! Today in a disappointing show of uberfemo-nazi rage I witnessed a woman berating a man for opening a door for her. I saw them both walk toward the shop front, he picked up speed (I assume to beat her to the door to assist in the gentlemanly act of opening it for her), once she saw him pick up his speed she matched him and then some! To be honest I think she got there just before he did and she reached to push the door, so he sorta reached over her head (being taller of the two) and assisted with keeping the door open. THAT'S WHEN THE GRUMPING STARTED!
First she turned to him and instead of a smile or a thank you, she asked him "don't you think i can open a door myself?", without waiting for a reply she continued "It is men like you, who keep women down!" WTF?!?!
He seemed to be murmuring an apology, and let go of the door he was holding open. In my opinion sweet victory followed when the door closed on the woman, pinning her half inside, half out! Apparently she could open the door but not keep it open long enough to pass through the door way whist yelling at random people!
Of course this meant he was "bashing" this lady, using brutish violence in retaliation to being told off, anyone could see plain as day that this guy was really sorry that he bothered, and that under no circumstances could he have slammed the door on this lady, nor did he seem to have any intention to fight back. I think he just wanted to walk away WHEN SHE CHASED HIM DOWN, and started with the yelling again.
I don't really know how it escalated so quickly but within minutes there were threats against this guy, accusations of brutality and immorality, then in an odd change of tactic, she accused this guy of lusting after her, apparently in all the fluster he must have lowered his eyes (a common trick to make yourself seem submissive - never do this with children, they will hold it over you forever!), and she saw that as him lowering his eyes to her distractingly unsupported bosom!
More than anything I wanted to somehow save this guy - but I knew any attempt would be futile, I have seen similar displays of femo-nazi rage before, and NO ONE IS SAFE!.
I just think its sad that this guy might not ever try to open a door for anyone ever again and for all he knows the next time he is in a similar situation he will be met with a tirade of abuse for NOT opening a door!
I guess there are no real rules here any more, generally if I get to the door first, I open it for whoever else is there, man, woman or child (always do it for a woman carrying a child - I don't care if it means you get yelled at!), but to be honest I usually to the door dance!
The door dance requires you to read body language and project your own clearly, its that moment in time when he is near the door, and you linger back just for a second, its up to us these days to say "yes please, I would like you to open this door for me", and if someone is kind enough to oblige, you must say thank you, or smile with your whole face (not just a tight lipped pretend thank you!!). If there is confusion in the dance we must resist a huffy attempt at opening the door for him (he is probably the guy that got yelled at earlier!!)
I know that when I'm with my girlfriends, I tend to want to be the one to open doors, and I like to be the one to pretend to be all strong and tough in a crowd, but its no secret that I'm a firm believer that if a guy wants to be a gentlemen, then so be it!
I fear the day that no one wants to open a door for anyone, no one wants to offer to pay for this date or this drink and pretend like I'll get the next one. I fear the day that one day we will forget to stand up when a lady joins the table, that we will forget to wait until our friends are safely inside their house before driving off.
Most of all I fear that being a lady, and wanting to look nice, and wanting someone to order my dinner for me, and wanting someone to offer me his jacket when it is cold will one day be a social crime. That it will be wrong to hold a door open, wrong to offer assistance, and wrong to compliment someone on looking nice.
If that day ever comes, I rely on you all to rise up with me and start the new revolution! Women we shall apply our anger red lipstick, gentlemen, well I guess you will just have to be agreeable with whatever master plan we come up with, because hell hath no fury, like a femo-nazi scorned!!
