What is the difference between being a dead keen dancer, and the executor of mild stalking? Great Question!
I find that the difference is in both the delivery of the asking for a dance and in way a rejection is handled. Below is a quiz you may find helpful.
Doing the asking (how to tell how much of a stalker you are)
1 - you have been social dancing all year, you have your favorite songs to dance to, and usually a particular partner to dance to that song with. You hear your song come on and look frantically to see your destined dance partner already dancing with someone else. Do you
a) walk up to the guy you wanted to dance with, scream at his partner to rack off because this is "your song, you always dance with this guy to THIS song" (you may or may not also stab her with your hidden dagger pen).
b) grab the nearest guy, girl, pole and try to outdance your competition, complete with dips, matching smiles and mind blowing jumps.
c) casually dance with whoever is around, but then very coldly reject they guy you wanted to dance with when he asks you for the next one, he had his chance and now he is dead to you
d) understand that whilst it would have been a blast to dance with that guy to that song, you'll grab the next one and have a blast with who ever you are dancing with!
2 - You ask a guy to dance and he politely declines, telling you he has to take a break and freshen up but will come find you soon. Do you
a) accuse him loudly of being a snob and not wanting to dance with you, wildly claim that he NEVER wants to dance with you and somehow expect this behavior to change his mind and accept a dance with you
b) whip out the baby wipe you have stuffed down your bra and mop his brow, explaining that now he is fresh he can have this dance with you, and also the next one cos he will now be fresh enough to dance all night
c) suspect he is blowing you off so you follow him to the mens room and patiently wait for him outside until he comes out. You note loudly that he is still wearing the same shirt he was wearing and that he does not look that refreshed but conclude he should dance with you anyway
d) let him know to come find you, and then grab the next guy who comes along and have a great dance with him.
You have asked a guy to dance a few times tonight and he has either been committed to another girl, been on his way to freshen up, or is plumb tuckered out. You ask one last time and he declines. Do you
a) throw a loud tantrum and accuse him of being rude, sashay off and tell all the girls about how rude he is and how he has rejected you all night. You make all your girlfriends pinkey promise to hate him forever and spread rumors that he picks his nose.
b) get out your note pad and reel off to him all the excuses he has ever given you over the past two years, giving each excuse its own interpretation of his voice, each one getting more and more whiny. When you get to the last excuse you vehemently claim that you didn't even want to dance with him anyway, you just felt sorry for him having a face like the one he has.
c) accuse him of ruining your night, you have rejected everyone elses offer for a dance because you thought he was going to ask you for one and you didn't want to be busy. Now he owes you TEN dances to make up for what he has done and you insist on claiming the first one then and there and continue to dance with him until his debt has been paid back.
d) accept that one of two things is happening, this guy is trying to let you down gently because he does not want to dance with you, or he is actually having a really busy night! Either way, there are loads of other people to dance with and you continue with your great night.
If you answered a, b or c to any of the above questions you are human, you are in the throes of swing passion and let me tell you, we have all been there (head full of bad memories, heart full of regret), but the key is to try to aim for d - the sane, grown up approach to having a great social dancing experience. Sometimes its really hard to not feel personally attacked or rejected, sometimes you feel like you deserve a dance from someone and if you don't get it, it can be down right upsetting, but remember while you are running rings around some guy, begging for a dance and getting mad when you don't get what you want, there is a guy out there, trying to catch you for a dance, its a vicious cycle!!
There is nothing wrong with asking someone to dance, and sometimes you have to ask a few times before you get a yes, and sometimes you ask a few times and still don't get that dance, but remember, no dance is better than a restraining order, so enjoy your evening and circulate the room, you never know who is midly stalking you!
